The one with the end of an era

picture taken at 32 weeks

Today marks my 37th week of pregnancy according to my OB, which means that I can safely give birth anytime now. My doctor and I actually have different due dates, hers is ahead of mine by 4 days. She's basing the due date on our baby's first biometry measurements, while I've always counted from my last menstrual period (LMP). Because this is a planned pregnancy, I'm very sure about my dates. Anyway, in either case, I can give birth any day in the next 5 weeks. I've been paranoid these last two weeks that I might give birth prematurely, so I'm now relieved that my baby has hit full term.

I have no words to describe just how excited I am for our Audrey to arrive. The baby that I dreamed of, imagined, and felt inside me is just days or weeks away from finally being in my arms, and just the thought of it is enough to make me tear up. There is so much love from me, from her daddy, and from her extended family waiting for her.

Happy and excited as I am, I'm a also a little bit emotional over the fact that my precious girl's arrival will mean the end of an era (era talaga???): that of Abet and me, just the two of us. And I'm more than ready to say good-bye to it. Abet and I got to maximize our time together and we have no regrets. We had the time of our lives being young and carefree. We've had our fun travelling as far as our money would take us, we had a beautiful wedding. We got married exactly after 5 years of courtship, and we got to enjoy 8 precious months of being newlyweds playing house followed by 9 months of being eager soon-to-be parents. In those 6 and a half years, I was Abet's princess and the love of his life, and his world revolved around me. Pretty soon, we will have our princess who will be the love of our lives, and our world will revolve around her.

Another thing I'll miss is having Audrey girl all to myself. In the last 9 months, Audrey has been mine, all mine. I'm the only one who can nourish her, feel her move and play and hiccup. Once she's out, I'll be sharing her with her daddy, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. So yes, I'll missing having both my husband and my daughter all to myself. I'm a selfish girl.

But this selfish girl is excited to be a mother more than anything. Everything will be all worth it once she's here. I'll be sharing my husband with my baby, but I know deep in my heart that Audrey will make our marriage stronger than ever. I'll be sharing my girl with everyone else, but I know that nothing will make me happier than seeing my daughter so loved.

Audrey's arrival may mean the end of an era, but a new, more beautiful one is about to begin.

The one with Tina Fey's prayer

A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey
(from BossyPants)

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes."

As a soon-to-be mother to a daughter, I only have one word for this:

AMEN.

I really love Tina Fey. I really do.

The one with the new basics

We're starting to buy items for Audrey just now. We wanted to wait for our Congenital Anomaly Scan so that we can be 101% sure that we were having a girl, I still had these scenarios playing out in my head that we were having a boy pala because we found our baby's sex out a bit early. Anyway, now that it's confeeeeermed! that we're really, truly having a princess, we now want to go ahead and get all the things she'll need. I want lotsa lotsa pink stuff!

I saw this infographic from The Other Baby Book on Facebook recently:

Funny how the 'new basics' are actually what our parents and grandparents had during their time, just the barest of essentials.

Anyway, this graphic is throwing me off-track, because all this time I thought that one of the major items we'll get for the baby is the crib. Abet and I always check out cribs during the rare times we're in malls ever since I got pregnant. We have already decided to get one of those convertible cribs that can be turned into a bed when the child gets older. And now this graphic is suggesting that it's better to not have one and just co-sleep with our baby.

We're now torn. I've been reading about co-sleeping and it does seem like the perfect set-up--there are health benefits both for me and for my baby, and I love the thought of not having to get up in the middle of the night to nurse. But where will I put my baby when we're not sleeping? A baby carrier? A playpen? Isn't that too small? Will a queen-sized bed be big enough? Won't a bed be dangerous for the baby because of the risk of falling?

I'm leaning towards co-sleeping with the baby, but we'll probably do away with the bed frame and just sleep on a mattress on the floor. Abet still wants the crib. I have no issues with the other items on the infographic because I hope to be a baby-wearing, breastfeeding, cloth-diapering mommy.

Mommies, did you co-sleep with your child? Did you have a crib? What would you suggest? I hope you can help us with this!